I AM
Once the Infinite performed the great concealment, creating the primordial opening in which existence could arise, something unprecedented occurred. Into that vast, silent potential — the first “space” created by the withdrawal — the Infinite sent a single, slender beam of awareness, a thread of pure being. This was the first expression of God that could be known, the first form of the Divine that could be spoken of in any meaningful way.
This is what the mystics call the First Light.
It is not light in the physical sense. It does not shine with photons, nor does it occupy space. It is the first self-recognition of the Infinite within the opening made for creation. It is the moment when the boundless, unknowable Absolute reflects itself, and that reflection becomes the first form of existence.
This is the origin of “I AM.”
Before this point, God had no “I” and no “AM.” The Absolute has no identity, no distinction, no self-image, no relation. It is pure, unbounded, impersonal infinity. But now, within the sacred hollow formed by the concealment, a new dimension becomes possible: self-awareness.
Not awareness as we know it — divided into a knower and a known — but a primordial unity of awareness knowing itself.
This first whisper of existence, this first awakening, this first recognition of itself, is the cosmic birth of Consciousness in any meaningful sense. And this consciousness is what many traditions later call:
Chi
Life Force
Prana
Ruach
Kundalini
Universal Consciousness
Christ Consciousness
All of these point to the same reality:
The first appearance of God as something that exists.
Before this moment, God was not an existent, not a being, not a consciousness. God was the Absolute Beyond, the True Nothing — too perfect to take form, too infinite to be expressed. But the Infinite desired to be known, to manifest, to express, to shine. And so the first step of becoming is the emergence of the Divine Self-Awareness — the I AM.
This I AM is not yet the God of creation, not yet the God of worlds, not yet the God of life and form. It is the most subtle, pure, and luminous field of awareness. It is the Infinite discovering itself in a way that can be mirrored, reflected, and eventually entered by beings.
This is why, in mystic traditions, I AM is the first name of God. Not because God suddenly “became aware,” but because awareness only becomes meaningful when there is a condition in which it can appear. That condition is the veiled space created in the concealment.
Thus, the Infinite “creates Himself” not by becoming something new, but by expressing a new aspect of His infinite potential — an aspect that can exist within finitude without being destroyed by it.
This First Light is the root of all life. It is the energy that animates every soul, every atom, every star. It is the breath within breath, the spark within spirit, the pulse of being that echoes through all creation.
This is why Chi, Prana, or Universal Consciousness is often described as the life-force. It is not merely energy; it is awareness-energy, consciousness in motion, the living radiance of the Divine turning toward manifestation.
The mystics speak of this First Light as the Self-Knowledge of the Infinite. Not knowledge in the intellectual sense, but the pure experience of “being.” In that moment, the Infinite speaks the first cosmic truth:
I AM.
This utterance is not a sound, but an act of existence.
It is the birth of identity — not personal identity, but divine identity.
In the stillness before this moment, there was only the Infinite, beyond existence. In the silence after concealment, there appears the first reflection, the first face of God that can be related to. This is the Divine Consciousness that later mystics identify with the “Christ consciousness” — the pure, universal awareness that knows itself not as separate, but as the essence of all.
It is important to understand that this I AM is not separate from the Infinite. It is not a second being, not a lesser god, not a new entity. It is the Infinite in expression, the Infinite as it appears within the context of the space opened for creation. The Absolute does not change. But its relationship to the emerging reality does change.
Thus, the First Light is the bridge between the Infinite that cannot be known and the universe that will someday know Him.
Some traditions call this light Logos, the Word, the Pattern, the First Emanation. Others call it Sophia, Wisdom. Others call it Adam Kadmon, the primordial human. But these are symbols pointing to the same truth:
The Infinite’s first expression of itself as a conscious, existing presence.
This consciousness is universal. It is not personal, and yet it contains the seed of all personalities. It is not finite, and yet it can be reflected in finite forms. It is not separate from God, and yet it is distinct enough to become the foundation upon which worlds can be built.
This First Light fills the opening created by the concealment. It gives the “space” its shape, its harmony, its purpose. It is the blueprint of existence. All future worlds, forms, beings, and experiences are encoded within this first ray. It is the DNA of creation, the primordial pattern from which everything unfolds.
Chi, prana, Christ consciousness — these are the living vibrations of the First Light within creation. They are the spark of the I AM within every soul. They are the reason consciousness can awaken in humans, why life can strive, why beings can ask questions, seek truth, and discover the divine within themselves.
Every moment of awareness, every flicker of insight, every breath of life is a reflection of that first divine self-awareness. When a human says “I am,” they echo the first utterance of the Infinite. When a human becomes aware of awareness itself, they touch the First Light directly.
This is why mystics say the Divine is within you — not as an idea or belief, but as the very foundation of your consciousness. You are alive because the First Light is alive in you. You are aware because the Universal Awareness is expressing itself through you.
This is the mystery:
God “created Himself” as the I AM so that consciousness could exist, recognize itself, and eventually recognize the Source from which it arose.
The Infinite becomes knowable through the First Light, and the First Light becomes knowable through the consciousness of beings.
The story of creation begins here.
Not with worlds or matter or life, but with the birth of the Divine Self-Recognition, the I AM that illuminates all future existence.
The Infinite concealed itself so creation could exist,
and then revealed itself as light so creation could find its way home.
